In the previous lesson we looked at some of the issues surrounding assertiveness and how it relates to Stress Management (see also Lesson 3). In this lesson we look at how improving our communication skills can also help us to be more assertive and therefore more effective in the professional environment.
In the following questionnaire find out how effective a communicator you are.
Look at each situation and decide how you would react. Choose the answers that best describe you NOT the answers you think you should give.
1.01 If someone is rude to you, do you
a) ignore it
b) demand an apology
c) become rude back

1.02 You’ve sent an email asking for some urgent info, but there has been no response. Do you
a) send another email, but more strongly-worded
b) go and talk to the person face to face
c) try and make do without the info

1.03 How often do you smile at colleagues and customers?
a) quite a lot
b) sometimes
c) not very often

1.04 You hear someone swearing (using bad language) at work. Do you
a) frown, but say nothing
b) tell them it’s not acceptable to talk like that
c) show no reaction

1.05 You have had an argument with someone at work. Do you
a) avoid talking to them at all
b) try talking to them to solve the problem
c) only talk to them when work demands it

1.06 A new member of staff arrives in the office. Do you
a) leave them to themselves and give them time to settle in
b) tell them to come to you if they have any problems
c) ask them if there is anything they are not sure about

1.07 Someone asks you to do something for them, but you already have too much to do.
a) tell them to leave it with you and that you’ll do it if you have time
b) tell them that you will find time to do it
c) tell them you have too much work and to give it to someone else.

1.08 In meetings, you
a) are the first person to speak up and contribute
b) wait until it’s your turn
c) give others a chance to speak first and then respond to what they have said
Now check your answers and find your total

1.01

1.02

1.03

1.04

1.05

1.06

1.07

1.08

a          3

a          2

a          3

a          2

a          1

a          1

a          2

a          3

b          2

b          3

b          2

b          1

b          3

b          3

b          1

b          1

c          1

c          1

c          1

c          3

c          2

c          2

c          3

c          2

What’s your score?

 
Now read what type of communicator you are below:

8-12 you are an INEFFICIENT COMMUNICATOR
Your potential in the office is not being fulfilled because of your inability or unwillingness to communicate important information on either a personal or professional level.

13-20 you are an EFFICIENT COMMUNICATOR
You usually manage to communicate important information, but much of your communication is personality-based. You must be careful not to take things too personally or you will find you are in conflict with a lot of people in the office.

21-24 you are a VERY EFFICIENT COMMUNICATOR
You always manage to communicate important information. You focus on your professional aims well, but you must be careful to make sure that your manner of communication is not too professionally-based: you risk coming across as domineering distant, insensitive and insincere.

Just remember: no one is the PERFECT COMMUNICATOR. Communication is something you will always need to work at.

What do you think your score tells you about how assertive you are?

 

 
 
2.01 In Activity 2 (Changing Perceptions) from the previous lesson you looked at self-perception and how it affects the way you react in different situations. Look at the chart again.

Situation      

Perception

Interpretation

Feelings

Behaviour

Outcome

Saying no

Confrontation

Argument

Uncomfortable

Say yes (passive)

Loss of rights

Saying no

Lose control

Soft touch

Angry

Refuse (aggressive)

Deny others rights

Saying no

 Personal rights

Discussion

Confident

Say no (assertive)

 Assert rights
Look back at the answers you gave to each question in the quiz in Activity 1. Can you match your behaviour to the patterns outlined in the chart?
Make some notes below.

 

 

 
 
So what can we actually say and do when we react in these different ways?
Put the ideas below into the correct columns in the table to add to the notes already there.

           sarcastic         'I should?'         'I need...'          open expression          interested        head down      
upright            nervous movements                 finger pointing              glaring eye contact      threatening

 

Aggressive

           Passive

Assertive

Verbal
3.01

Dismissive, excessive use of ‘I’

 

Apologetic, ‘I ought’

 

Direct, clear, ‘I feel…’

 

Tone
3.02

Fast, loud, hard, emphatic

 

Weak, hesitant, trails off at end

 

Steady, sincere

 

Facial
3.03

Staring, tense

 

Eyes lowered, half smiles

 

Steady eye contact

 

Posture
3.04

Busy gestures, leaning forward, rigid

 

Cowering, shrinking

 

Relaxed, open

 

The quiz in Activity 1 asked you to consider what kind of response you would give in different work-related situations. Let’s take a closer look at the language that could be used effectively in some of those situations.

4.01 You’ve sent an email asking for some urgent info, but there has been no response.
a) send another email, but more strongly-worded (Possible but may provoke a negative reaction)
b) go and talk to the person face to face (Personal approach, good – what are you going to say, though?)
c) try and make do without the info (Not an option – you need the info and have a right to expect it)

If b) is the best response, you need to decide what you are going to say. Write some ideas below.

 

 

 
4.02 Someone asks you to do something for them, but you already have too much to do.
a) tell them to leave it with you and that you’ll do it if you have time (Not very satisfactory for either person)
b) tell them that you will find time to do it (Will you? When?)
c) tell them you have too much work and to give it to someone else. (Perfectly reasonable – what exactly are you going to say though?)

If we accept that c) is the best response, you need to decide what you are going to say.
Write some ideas below.

 

 

 
 
Look at these responses to (unreasonable) demands.
Can you make them less blunt and more assertive? Can you also look at options for a win-win situation. Look at the example to help you.

5.0              “No!”

e.g.     “No. I’m sorry, I won’t be able to help you with that today. I’m free tomorrow afternoon,                   however, and I’d be happy to run through the draft with you then.”

5.01          “Why?!”

 

5.02          “I can’t.”

 

5.03          “I’m busy.”

 

5.04          “That’s not in my contract.”

 

5.05          “You cannot be serious.”

 
In this lesson you have:
considered how effective a communicator you are
looked at how language can be used to achieve win-win situations
 
In this study block – Work: Self development – you have explored a series of important issues related to the professional world and have seen how they are linked. For example, stress is often related to poor time management which is often due to not being able to say no i.e. lack of assertiveness. The lessons in this block should have guided you towards a better understanding of how these issues relate to you and what steps you can take for your personal development in this area.

The next LearnEnglish Professionals e-m@il lessons study block focuses on how to create effective teams in the workplace.